APSATS | The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists http://apsats.org Training, Certification, Research & Advocacy Thu, 22 Sep 2016 22:48:21 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Sex Addiction Recovery: Gratitude for the Growing McKinney Recovery Community http://apsats.org/2016/08/28/sex-addiction-recovery-gratitude-for-the-growing-mckinney-recovery-community/ Mon, 29 Aug 2016 01:29:30 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/08/28/sex-addiction-recovery-gratitude-for-the-growing-mckinney-recovery-community/ By DrJaniceCaudill
When I began my private practice in 2009 I was excited to be the first Certified Sex Addiction Therapist to serve the McKinney area. However, I quickly realized the difficulties my clients faced in maintaining and sustaining sobriety in a city with no S-groups (Twelve Step groups devoted to sex addiction recovery) and essentially no recovery community. That meant at a minimum a drive to Plano, Dallas or one of the fledgling Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) or Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) groups available to recovering people in other cities. For clients from distant locations already traveling a distance to get to me in McKinney, it made participation in a recovery community virtually untenable on a regular and frequent basis. Given my firm belief that healing happens in community, the lack of one in McKinney saddened and frustrated me.
So I have watched with tremendous gratitude as that community has slowly grown in my city over the last 7 years. It started with the Saturday and then Thursday Primary Purpose SAA groups serving those struggling with sexual compulsion. I am grateful to the First Baptist Church for offering their facility for these groups, as well as the broader faith communities in supporting Celebrate Recovery and beginning to address issues related to pornography and sexual addiction.
2016 has seen another growth spurt in the McKinney with the Shepard Building in Adriatica sponsoring not one but two new SAA groups – a Tuesday evening Primary Purpose group and a Sunday evening traditional SAA group. I’m particularly pleased that the Sunday Hope and Recovery group uses a different format from the existing groups because I believe that one of the hallmarks of a healthy recovery community is not just having multiple groups, but having a diversity of styles and formats to meet the diversity of needs in recovering individuals – different strokes for different folks. So McKinney now has multiple SAA groups with diverse formats that meet in both religious settings and a secular setting.
I am also excited at no longer being the only professional in McKinney with specialty certification to treat sex and porn addiction. The first several years in my private practice were lonely ones for me. However, the Shepard Building is fast becoming a hub for professionals who specialize in treating sex and pornography addiction as well as betrayal trauma experienced by spouses and children. Although we all practice independently from each other, our close proximity in the Shepard Building allows for us to work collaboratively when possible.
We have kind of become our own professional tribe. Consequently, I’m appreciative of the colleagues who join me in supporting recovery in McKinney. That includes Gary Kindley, LPC, CSAT who continues fight his way north from his primary office in Dallas to facilitate his Wednesday night Facing the Shadows men’s psychotherapy group. This group has been running for several years and is still going strong.
Debra Larsen, LPC-S, certified by the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapy and the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, works with partners of sex addicts and couples trying to restore their marriages in the wake of betrayal. She also brings her 20+ years of experience working with adolescents to helping teens and young adults impacted by a parent’s addiction. Given that I am now seeing second and third generations of sex addiction now, her expertise is going to be vital in helping break the cycle.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, who was formerly a co-facilitator for my Partner Empowerment Groups and Married and Alone Groups, is also certified as a Sexual Recovery Therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist. Ingela works with recovering sex addicts and their partners, as well as counseling couples in the healing process.
I am excited about the most recent addition to the Shepard Building specialists. Steve Kelly, LPC, CSAT-c is well respected throughout the professional community and has been a beloved and trusted source of inspiration for many in recovering individuals he has worked with in residential treatment centers. Steve served in pastoral ministry for over 20 years. Not only is Steve a talented addiction therapist, he has a special gift for helping his clients navigate through the spiritual growth so important in the recovery process.
As for myself, I am a psychologist and CSAT who works with men and women struggling with sex or pornography addiction. In addition, I am a Partner Recovery Therapist, founding member of the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists, and helped develop a trauma model for healing spouses dealing with Sex Addiction Induced Trauma – the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. I have a passion for helping marriages heal from the impact of sex addiction and a frequently co-occurring relationship pattern called intimacy anorexia. I frequently do 3 and 4 day intensives to help couples begin to move past the tremendous damage compulsive sexual betrayal and intimacy anorexia inflict on the relationship.
Although McKinney now has a solid foundation in sex and porn addiction recovery resources, we still have a long way to go. Unfortunately, I see no signs that McKinney will not grow in need for even more S-group meetings in the future. While the recovery community has grown for the recovering addicts, there are still few resources for spouses and the north Texas area has virtually no recovery community resources for intimacy anorexia.
So my wish list for the future definitely includes COSA, S-Anon or POSA Twelve Step meetings for spouses to add to the Partner Empowerment psychotherapy groups offered by McKinney Counseling & Recovery. A growing need that I hope adolescent specialists such as Debra Larsen can help with is to create resources for the growing number of teens ensnarled by pornography or sex addiction. A final item on my wish list is the emergence of an intimacy anorexia recovery community. McKinney Counseling & Recovery plans to help launch its growth by recruiting for the first men’s intimacy anorexia psychotherapy group this fall.
I have watched with gratitude as the McKinney recovery community has grown in recent years. I hope to see it grown even more in the years to come.
Dr. Janice Caudill is the founder and Clinical Director of McKinney Counseling & Recovery. MCR offers individual, couples, group therapy, webinars, workshops and 3-day intensives for partners of sex addicts and wounded hearts struggling with sex addiction, infidelity, love addiction or love avoidance, intimacy anorexia, or relational trauma in the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Richardson, Frisco, Prosper, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and surrounding areas.
All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, does not create a client-therapist relationship, and is not a substitute for care by a trained professional. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors, omissions, losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

Via:: Dr. Janice Caudill

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MPTM Trainings!! http://apsats.org/2016/08/23/mptm-trainings/ Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:47:11 +0000 http://apsats.org/?p=1118671 APSATS is offering two opportunities for our 4 day training on the MPTM toward certification in the next several months.

Our annual face to face training is taking place Oct. 19-22 2016 and will be in the Greater Cincinnati Ohio area. Face to face trainings are absolutely the BEST way to learn and interact with other professionals from around the U.S. and from around the world! We will be having a real international flavor to our training this year!

 

The next webinar based training will take place January 27&28, and February 3 & 4 (all four days). Our live webinars utilize an online program called Zoom. This is an excellent opportunity to be trained without worrying about winter travel!

For more information, see our Registration page. Cost for the training is $950 and is payable online through the registration link.

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Live Webinar on Overcoming Trauma-related Shame Friday September 2, 2016 http://apsats.org/2016/08/05/live-webinar-on-overcoming-trauma-related-shame-friday-september-2-2016/ Fri, 05 Aug 2016 17:46:51 +0000 http://apsats.org/?p=1100686 There will be a live webinar presented by Dr. Janina Fisher, well known trauma specialist, on the topic of trauma related shame hosted by Cornerstone Professional Training. This event will be a fund raiser for APSATS and a great way to earn continuing education! For more information and to register, go to Cornerstone’s website.

Once registered, you will receive a webinar link via Zoom so that you can attend. The training will be Friday September 2, 2016 from Noon- 1:30 Eastern.

We hope to see you at this valuable training!

 

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UPCOMING TRAININGS http://apsats.org/2016/07/01/upcoming-trainings/ Fri, 01 Jul 2016 15:28:26 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/07/01/upcoming-trainings/ UPCOMING TRAININGS TOWARD CERTIFICATIONAPSATS 4 Day MPTM Live Training October 19-22, 2016Registration is now open Our next live web-based training is coming soon! Registration is open and we are already receiving registrations! This 4 day training will take place in the Greater Cincinnati Ohio area October 19-22, 2016. This face to face training will take place at the Marriott Courtyard, West Chester OH where we have a special rate of $129 per night. Those rooms at that rate will be gone quickly, so register soon!!Register right away to make sure you don’t miss this opportunity.Requirements to attend all trainings:Professionally licensed (counselor, psychologist, social worker, medical doctor, psychiatric nurse or nurse practitioner) or graduate level student in the helping professions ORCertified life or recovery coach (certified by ICF-approved program) Students in their graduate mental health programs or coaches who are close to completing their coach trainingPastoral providers – contact us about attending.Questions? Contact APSATS at info@apsats.org or by calling 513-644-8023. Sign up today. What is APSATS?The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) is a non-profit organization dedicated to the professional training and certification, public education, research, and advocacy for treatment of sex addiction- induced trauma. APSATS is the only organization that specializes in the preparation and certification of Partner Specialists. We train and certify Certified Clinical Partner Specialists (CCPS) and Certified Partner Coaches (CPC) who subscribe to a developing treatment model that acknowledges and responds to the traumatic stress found in partners affected by sex addiction.You may be asking yourself, why should I bother obtaining more training and certification?Why Seek Certification?This certification will not only give you the ability to offer partners of sex addicts better treatment, but it will make you highly marketable. Since the release of the book Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, co-authored by Dr. Barbara Steffens, president of APSATS, partners are desperate to find professionals who work from this model! Emails are pouring in asking for referrals to therapists who have been trained by APSATS. Once you receive the certification (this four day course completes the training portion of the certification requirements), your name and information will be listed on the APSATS website. Learn MoreNew Address Our new address is 8859 Cincinnati-Dayton Rd Suite 203, West Chester OH 45069. Phone 513-644-8023Join with us!Please sign up to receive regular information on training opportunities, locations, research, and advocacy issues related to sex addiction and its traumatic impact on the partner. Join our mailing list now!

Via:: Ingela Edwards

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Surviving Betrayal: Boundaries, Not Ultimatums http://apsats.org/2016/05/15/surviving-betrayal-boundaries-not-ultimatums/ Mon, 16 May 2016 00:26:21 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/05/15/surviving-betrayal-boundaries-not-ultimatums/ By DrJaniceCaudill When we first hear about setting boundaries regarding the behavior of another person, it is often hard to see how that differs from the same old ultimatum that got us nowhere in the past.
You do this or else.
If that ever happens again, you’ll be sorry.
What sets boundaries apart from ultimatums is that when we set a boundary, we are asking only one person to respect our boundaries: ourselves.
When we issue an ultimatum, we expect someone else to change. When we set a boundary, we challenge ourselves to change.
When we set a boundary, we decide what we can live with in the future and we decide how we will respond if confronted with that behavior again.
When we set a boundary, we don’t do it to punish someone else. We do it to protect ourselves. In setting a boundary, we may say: One more deception, one more affair, and I get out of this relationship to save myself and my sanity.
Notice that a healthy boundary can be set without ever saying the word you. Sometimes we don’t even have to express our boundaries aloud to another person, although to be fair we may want to tell others what the consequences of their actions may be. But we don’t have to do that. Because when we set a boundary we are not demanding that another person change.
TODAY I AM READY TO MAKE MY OWN CHANGES. I WILL SEEK THE COURAGE TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES AND TO DEMAND CHANGE ONLY OF MYSELF.
From Surviving Betrayal: Hope and Help for Women Whose Partners Have Been Unfaithful * 365 Daily Meditations by Alice May
Dr. Janice Caudill is the founder and Clinical Director of McKinney Counseling & Recovery. MCR offers individual, couples, group therapy, webinars, workshops and 3-day intensives for partners of sex addicts, recovering couples and wounded hearts struggling with sex addiction, infidelity, love addiction or love avoidance, intimacy anorexia, or relational trauma.
All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, does not create a client-therapist relationship, and is not a substitute for care by a trained professional. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors, omissions, losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

Via:: Dr. Janice Caudill

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Election 2016? http://apsats.org/2016/05/07/election-2016/ Sat, 07 May 2016 20:54:58 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/05/07/election-2016/ By Dan Drake So what do you think of this election? Trump? Hillary? Bernie? What about Cruz? This is a controversial election this year, and people are expressing so many different opinions. I’m curious how this is playing out in families across the country (and world). Let me know what you think!

Via:: Dan Drake

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MPTM In Person Training, Cincinnati Ohio http://apsats.org/2016/04/29/mptm-in-person-training-cincinnati-ohio/ Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:31:34 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/04/29/mptm-in-person-training-cincinnati-ohio/ October 19, 2016 – October 22, 2016

6250 Muhlhauser Rd

View MapMap and Directions | Register

Description:

We will have a face to face training in the Greater Cincinnati Ohio area, October 19-22nd 8:30- 4:30 PM

Register

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Partners of Sex Addicts: What are you going to do with that Information? http://apsats.org/2016/04/26/partners-of-sex-addicts-what-are-you-going-to-do-with-that-information/ Tue, 26 Apr 2016 11:26:08 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/04/26/partners-of-sex-addicts-what-are-you-going-to-do-with-that-information/ When trust has been broken in a relationship, it is a long, hard road to travel in order for trust to be fully restored. In the meantime, it may be tempting to check up on the person who has not been truthful to you. Maybe you need the validation that they are actually being honest; therefore, you check up on them to ease your fears of further betrayal. Worst-case scenario, you check up on the person who has broken your trust, find something that contradicts what you have been told to be the truth, and now you are also stuck with keeping secrets, unless you have a plan set in place that will kept you accountable for what you were going to do with that information. If you snoop around, and find something, are you leaving? Are you staying? Or does looking only set you up for further hurt, unless you are ready to do something with the information that you now have? It is a traumatizing event to discover that your loved one is not who you thought they were. You may experience intrusive thoughts, staying hyper alert to additional signs of betrayal and your anxiety may be through the roof. Complete transparency from the addicts is a requirement following disclosure. There needs to be access to all bank accounts, email accounts, social media etc. until trust is rebuilt. What if you find your spouse’s recovery workbook lying around? You may be tempted to take a peek at what is inside, as you seek to know the truth. Here is where you need to ask yourself: “What am I going to do with that information?” What if you find information that is disturbing or troubling, or quite not what you had heard “the truth” to be? Now, you are the keeper of secrets unless you are planning to admit to looking. You may start setting truth traps and asking questions to see if he/she will answer them truthfully. Maybe you re-traumatize yourself and feel additional panic attacks brewing, and for what? You only hurt yourself further. A formal disclosure session should be scheduled with your therapist and the addict’s therapist where the truth, facts and details can come out. This way, you will be prepared in advance, you get to ask for what you want to know and you have support through out the process.Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.

Via:: Ingela Edwards

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Communication Problems: How to Spot the Derailment Tactics Used to get you off the Topic http://apsats.org/2016/04/15/communication-problems-how-to-spot-the-derailment-tactics-used-to-get-you-off-the-topic/ Fri, 15 Apr 2016 18:34:25 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/04/15/communication-problems-how-to-spot-the-derailment-tactics-used-to-get-you-off-the-topic/ ​ Some people are in emotionally abusive relationships and they do not realize it. The emotional abusiveness may be is so covert that you might not recognize that it is happening to you. These tactics may be strategically hidden away, yet utilized in order to put you on the crazy train. Others are so obvious, but you could be left feeling so baffled that you lose your ability to respond. How can you spot that you may be the target of these tactics? Here are some situations that you may want to watch for:Silent treatment- your significant other may use this tactic to “punish” you by refusing to speak for several hours, or even days, then suddenly decides that the conflict is over and starts acting like nothing happened.Anger/rage outbursts- your significant other may use this tactic to scare you or anger you in order to derail the original topic from being discussed.Blame shifting- your partner could use this tactic to avoid taking accountability for something. They turn it around on you and all of a sudden it appears as if it is all you fault The other person shifts the blame with “yes, but you did …..”Switching topics (or adding additional topics in order to confuse you)- your partner immediately brings up a different topic and before you know it, you are so bewildered and confused that you don’t know what the topic was about to start with.Targeting you- immediately when you raise a concern, your significant other turns it around on you by stating that you did not word your issue correctly, you didn’t address it at the right time or your voice is not sounding the “right” way. This is the tactic that derails you right off the bat and the conversation is over before it started. There are many more examples of manipulations. So what can you do if you notice that you are actually exposed to some of these tactics? The first part is awareness and recognition that this is happening in your relationship. You can prepare yourself by writing down what you want to talk about. You can ask before hand for a time when the two of you could sit down and talk. Stay focused and do not allow yourself to get derailed by these tactics. You may have to stay persistent and be the one to bring up the topic again. With a yelling partner, you may want to say something like: ”I can tell that you are angry right now. I do want to talk to you about this, so please come back later when we can both talk about this calmly.” Keep stating this until the conversation actually takes place without yelling. For blame shifting or bombarding you with more topics, it still comes down to staying on the topic by stating things like, ”we can talk about your suggested topic at a different time, right now we are discussing X.” Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and sex addiction related issues. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.

Via:: Ingela Edwards

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Emotional Intimacy: Can we Talk About God Instead of Fantasy Football? http://apsats.org/2016/04/08/emotional-intimacy-can-we-talk-about-god-instead-of-fantasy-football/ Fri, 08 Apr 2016 16:00:06 +0000 http://apsats.org/2016/04/08/emotional-intimacy-can-we-talk-about-god-instead-of-fantasy-football/ Emotional intimacy is created over time between friends, lovers, spouses and family members. Emotional intimacy is building and creating a special, deep emotional bond with another. Sharing feelings, experiences and genuine care for the other creates it. You have arrived when you feel emotionally safe regardless of what obstacle you are facing. You do not withhold. You do not walk on eggshells, and you know the other speaks their truth. Emotional intimacy develops over time when we chose to open ourselves up to truly sharing who we are and what we feel. It comes from talking and expressing deep topics, issues, concerns, hopes, wishes and dreams. It is built when we go beyond fantasy football, stock market and today’s weather report. It can be developed when sharing spiritual beliefs, expressing what love truly means, exploring our purpose on earth, and analyzing what the infinity of the universe actually means. I have nothing against fantasy football. I believe in freeing the mind at times and creating occasional escapes from the real world. I bring up fantasy football due to Hara Estroff Marano’s latest article in Psychology Today, (April 2016). The article is about gender balance in today’s society, but she points out how disengagement in relationships is increasing. She states, “ Many young men get caught in the compelling algorithms of gaming, pornography, and fantasy football.” There are so many people who feel alone in their relationships. Their spouse is physically there, but choose to instead engage in online activities that prevent emotional intimacy to grow. It is a blocker. Gaming, pornography, fantasy football amongst other activities stunts the growth and the potential of emotional intimacy in the relationship.Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.

Via:: Ingela Edwards

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